Tuesday, 4 September 2012

He Provides

God is good. And He knows stuff, a lot of stuff, not just mentally but also practically as well. Praise His holy name. He's so good, and His love is a powerful thing. Like water, it cannot be stopped when made into a waterfall, and cannot be held onto with the hand, and cannot be contained, and it fills every crack.

Below: Pics of Wells, BC...
I just got back from living up north in a little community called Wells, BC, and God's been teaching me all about trusting Him, and looking to Him for everything. Like right now I'm waiting on him for a place to live, and am at total peace about it. Cause over the past few months He's been providing everything for me, left and right, and I've been learning how to hear Him, and trust Him, and ask Him for things, and He provides!

And you know what? The most important thing is that I chilled out with Him!
Out of everything that I could have been doing to learn about Him, and living on my own etc.... it was this: Just going to Him, and being in His presence. Letting my mind rest on Him... and His thoughts. Letting His, and my thoughts become one. Then, when I looked at things in my world, like the person next to me, I'd see them more like how He sees them – because our minds were melded - and I'd just really be able to operate from HIS point of view.

I also learned of the awesome affects when we set ourselves up for success.
Living in Wells, I was surrounded with people that loved what they did in their lives, that enjoyed living, that let themselves be free, and express themselves with the tools of the all the arts.
Dancing till the cows come home during
Arts Wells - festival of all things arts.
And I chose, as well as God provided for me, to be with people that made me feel good, that appreciated me (and I them), and of kindred spirits that I could connect with. What a wonderful, beautiful gift. Words cannot express how thankful I am for the overflowing power, and amount of LOVE that God, my best friend and King has freely and lavishly given to me.

He gave me all the exact things I needed. He really did.
Possessions as well as amazing awesome friends, and people who wanted to talk about God's awesomeness. People who weren't afraid to dance, and sing impromptu, and who were passionate about life, art, dance, music, dance, dance, and colour, and dancing until you couldn't dance anymore.

Any you know what I realized?
The biggest thing I learned was that I can really do things.
I can accomplish things – on my own.
There had always been this nagging thought telling me that I really couldn't do anything, that all I was good for was just following orders, and that I was a sloppy, messy good for nothing blob taking up space on the planet. And when people would tell me otherwise, I'd consider them being polite and telling me things that weren't really true....
And living, really living outside of myself and my own little bubble world, was a far off dream, a place where I could go to only through virtual reality, music, and movies etc... and only imagined a different version of myself where I could someday be FREE.

But then I moved out.
And I lived in a little town up north for the summer, and suddenly everything changed. Life became something I could actually control. It became an actual reality where I could actually change the course of my own future?! Wow, what a concept. And I could make decisions that would affect my feelings and outcomes in my life, and there would be no one there who'd object and set me off in a disheartening direction.

And whenever I'd feel sad or alone, I'd look to Him, and He'd fill me up to overflowing and give me power, and direction, and wisdom.
I think this past two months have been a time period where I have gained the most wisdom than I have ever gained before in that same amount of time. And all of it has come from Him.

So what do I want to say to all of you?
I don't know where you're at with God or what you think of Him right now, or how close your relationship is with Him, but what I DO know, is that HE IS MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU, and He'll do anything to show His love to you, if you'd just open up to Him, and let Him.

And if I've ever learned anything in this short span of my life so far, I've learned, and really learned this this summer:
Open your hands, lift up your arms, raise your face, receive His Love,
and just be. With. Him.
That's it.

I used to think that idea was a phase and that I'd have to learn to deal with the real world and get with reality later on. HA!
But nope! Now I know for certain, that all His people need, is Him. His love, and to be with Him. The details will actually literally fill themselves in – and He'll fill in the rest!

He taught me all I have to do sometimes, is ask. So, for example, I needed veggies, God gave me a job (which I LOVED) where they let me buy veggies from, for REAL cheap, and exactly when, and where it was PERFECTLY convenient for me!
Me and my sisters in Christ that God
connected me with...
Another example, I was struggling and sad cause I wanted to have some friends there who I could talk about His awesomeness with, and who'd understand. He taught me to ASK Him for things, “Ask and you shall receive...”, so I did, and learned to do that a lot, and there He was, promptly after that, He provided me with a whole pile of people, one by one, who loved Him too. :) And I got to have all these really interesting convos with people about spirituality and stuff too after that.

Then I realized if I'm finding something too hard, and I'm really struggling with it, just ask God for it!!!!! :D I'm not saying this in a nasty attitude of 'gimme gimme', and never give, it's just if you don't ask Him, how can He give it?
And if He doesn't give it, that doesn't mean He won't give other things! He's a GOOD father.

If you know Him, and know His heart, then you'll know what He's saying for your life in the moment, and concerning the things you're asking for. Yet another reason why being close with Him, and being filled with His love is the core, cause then you can trust Him no matter what happens.

There's NO LACK of anything when you're filled with Him and His perfect love, and He gives you His peace, and reassurance. All-of-the-sudden, you could be up in the air, without a job, or a place to live (like me right now), but you feel OK, cause you know, you KNOW, that He provides.

I'm stronger right now cause I've been able to create a surrounding of people and things to do that support me and build me up, and cause I run to Him as He's my fuel. I prayed long and hard about my future, and what He wants me to do, and He's shown me. He's given me peace on all the things I've asked for, so I can now rest in Him, and trust that He'll provide. :) What a feeling. :)
Feels way different than worrying, and working hard to survive, and just managing to scrape by.

HE PROVIDES. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spirituality, relationally, developmentally, expressively, colourfully and all of everything!!!

You know how we all have some sort of bucket list? Well He can provide fulfillment to that too. - And more. :D HAHAaaa!!!

Praise God. Praise Him because He alone is worthy to be praised. O, let your kingdom come, and your will be done on earth as in heaven. 


Living Words

There stands a bookshelf
a shelf full of books
with all of the perfect and pure words of God.
The words of God that bring life, healing, peace, and joy
the words that guide, love, and live;
The words of Life.

And He, the son of God in His purity,
takes each book off the shelves
opens them,
and the words flow,
infuse and fill me.
Only because I let Him
only because I'm His
I am made new.

His words of Life are written on my heart
I am free,
His words of Life are written on my heart
I need not worry,
His words of Life are written on my heart
I need not fear,
His words of Life are written on my heart

I need not fear
He lives in me

I need not fear
He lives in me.

Thursday, 24 May 2012

I Can Disciple People

So, the last few days have been... amazing to say the least.
I didn't know my life could really look like this. I'm still in a bit of a shock, thinking about it.

Here's the deal:
Sunday night:
Swing Dance (one of my vivid passions).

Went out with a close friend who brought to my attention that I am discipling people – and I didn't even realize it until she said it, so that was a revelation to me.

(Discipling is basically just like mentoring – helping someone learn things, and showing them through daily living, not just theory, but real life. If you want to know more of what descipling is, my friend explains it pretty good here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSo1tGbjSTY

Friendship with God

Went for a walk'n'talk with another friend, and had one of THE BEST talks all about beliefs, and worldviews (how different people view the world), and how hers and mine contrast.
This conversation felt different to me, because I was quite clear-headed, and even though we have differences, I could understand where she was coming from.
We talked of all sorts of things, religion, relationships, evolution vs creation, morals, beliefs, ideas, many ideas, and thoughts. And by the end of it all, I discovered it all boiled down to one VERY *simple* thing: Relationship with Jesus/God; I have it, and she doesn't.

It was really simple, actually. And I was able to articulate it in a simple, and easy way – and she got it too. BECAUSE it was so simple.

See, it's just that I'm friends with this dude named Jesus, we hang out, and we're cool like that. And she just hasn't met him yet, so when I talk about, Him, she doesn't, and can't follow.
Everything I believe in, and my whole life is grounded in Him, including, my worldview, how I look at every detail of the world, from the beginning of the world, to the end, from my purpose in life, to nature, to people, animals, and my values and ethics – it's all based on this one dude, Jesus, and my RELATIONSHIP with Him. Not just a theoretical God out there somewhere, but a real dude who has a name, a face, and a personality.

The other thing is, I only figured this out, because I *listened* to her. I wasn't sitting there talking my face off, telling her what I know, and why and how she should do the same. We both talked, and while doing so, I was listening to God, and His Spirit in me, to understand what He wanted me to say and do, and how He wanted to treat my friend – and mostly, just how He viewed her, not how I view her.

Cause I, as a friend who cares about her, would be all in her face... trying to help her see the awesome gift that's out there for her, and try to convince her to reach out and grab it, and end up getting frustrated with her.
But me, as a child of God and seeing her in HIS viewpoint...
...He just told me to love her (SIMPLE!).

...At one point in the conversation, where I was rather frustrated with her, I asked God,
“Where do I go from here?!”, and He said,
“Just love her”, and it was like I looked at her differently all-of-the-sudden, and saw her as God does, and He gave me a whole whack of His overwhelming Love for her.
Then out of that Love, suddenly an idea came to me of how to share it. I was able to share with her things that God saw in her, like how she was able to be open to talk about these things.

It all boils down to the simple things, really. All the most complex and detailed things can all be brought down to the simplest of answers. And in this case, it was Jesus, and friendship with Him.

Tuesday Evening:
MORE SWING! **HEAVENLY** Hung out with some awesome people afterwards, which made my night. YAY! I prayed for God to make swing extra special this night, and He most definitely did. Thank you God, you're awesome.
Just goes to show he likes to do things for me that make me happy! :)

Thursday, 17 May 2012

A Far Green Country: Into the Wild

A Far Green Country: Into the Wild: Homeschool culture is a strange thing. I know the homeschool world is pretty vast and varied, but I mean that odd bubble of huge white vans...

Saturday, 19 November 2011

Learning From God's Heart

God has a big heart. Mine's small, but He offers His, and it's a shame when I don't take it.

Yesterday He reminded me of this, through my friend Hailey. She doesn't know Jesus that well, but she sure knew what He was saying, and how to apply it to life! She told me of times when God's spoken to her, and of how she intentionally shows God's love to people she meets, and teaches people to ask God for signs.

I knew I had a lot to learn from her. It's not an 'us, them' situation, it's a 'us, and God' situation. Always.

Last night we were supposed to have our normal 'Thursday Nigh Awesomeness' chill time, but it snowed hard all-of-the-sudden (it never does this in November), so everyone cancelled, except for Hailey.

We had some good, one-on-one with each other, and Jesus story time. As God showed me before hand, we read the story of Lazerus rising from the dead.


Hailey wants to come more y'all, 'the harvest is ready, the workers are few!'

There's a whole bunch of people out there who'd LOVE to chill, hang out, and read Jesus stories, and talk about God, life, and anything!!!

That reminded me... Gotta start talking about God to the people I now work with @ the gas station. 

Sometimes it's hard to DE-limit God from only being at certain places! :)

God is everywhere, and with me at all times, and my 'mission field' is WHEREVER I GO!!!!

Jesus said: "GOOooo!! And make DESCIPLES, people! Just go and do it!" Not in those exact words, but translated to now'a'days, it's probably accurate.

He didn't say, "ONLY go to certain places, that I specify, and then when you get there find a whole bunch of random people, and get them to fill out forms and come to other certain places, and then get them to say certain words, and then tell them to do certain things, wear certain clothes, talk certain ways, eat certain foods..."

He just said step a) Go. Get. Get on. Skat. Scoot.
And then step b) make disciples and baptize em.

That's it.

How 2 make disciples? Just look at how Jesus did it, it's not that hard. Just live, and share His love, basically... go where they're at. Get in their lives, be with the people, not a fake person trying to sell something, but just a regular person living, and learning, and being in/with God.

....Jesus said, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Thank you Jesus. PS: He'll never leave you.

Saturday, 5 November 2011

Reactivating My Mission of Love

Ok, so It's been a while since I last posted. Sorry about that. I've finally got something to actually write now though.

I was reminded of a thought: I'm in a battle. A lot of the time I've got 'blinders' that keep me from seeing what's really going on. 

Yeah, I said it! Battle war zone! It's like a super power hidden/magical, supernatural, secret-power world, like some of those movies like 'X-Men' or something. But not exactly.
Realization: I'm not in this alone, trying to survive in this dark world, dealing with my own personal problems, and helping others deal with theirs... I'm actually a warrior.

“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” -Ephesians 6:12, the Bible.

Ok, re-wind, lemme explain.

  1. I surrendered
  2. I was reactivated
  3. I was reassigned my mission

Piercing Sword of Truth
I surrendered.

I had to fully say, 'Yes God, I WANT you'.
Then He pierced my spirit with his sword of truth, and filled me with Himself. I was awakened, I was renewed, brought to life by Him, just Himself.

I was reactivated.

Then He gave me something: He gave me a goal. A purpose. It was an odd feeling because it was a forgotten memory.

He reminded me of my 'mission' that He 'assigned' me. I'm not talking about simply a deed to do, I'm talking about when He injects it straight into your spirit. It's a thing that He's purposed for you. It's something that you've always just meant to do. And all God does is 'activate' that 'implant', or whatever you want to call it, in you.

In my case, He REMINDED me. I somehow forgot what my mission was, and lost sight of my true purpose. I was dormant.

I was reassigned my mission.

He said, “Love the people around you.” And showed me a picture/visualization of this:

A heart with the word 'LOVE' in the center. I zoomed in and saw the heart was colourized by all the names of people I know, and have connections with. Even the letters for the word 'LOVE' was made up of names.
God wants me to show His love the people around me.

Why is this important? God's character: He showed Himself to be true, faithful, honest, right, and persistent. He knows. He know, He knows, He knows. And everything He does is motivated by love, and everything He asks us to do is also motivated by love.

Even if we don't, He does. And when we give up, He gives us what we need. He doesn't necessarily give us what we want, but He always gives us what we need.

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

God Does Magic Again!!

My sister is going to India for 9 months, and I’ve been praying for a while, asking God how much $$ He wants me to give her. He’s consistently been saying $500. Yesterday, I discovered that I didn’t have enough $$ to give her the $500, and the money I DID have, I needed for text books.  As I was driving home from University, I asked God way more seriously than I had before, to please magically provide the money, and give it to ME so that I could give it to Zoe, my sis. 

Guess what He did!????!!!  As soon as I got home, Zoe was all ex cited and told me this awesome, amazing story that she just received exactly $500 from her friend Hannah in the mail THAT  DAY!!
I told her my end of the story, and that same night, Zoe ‘happened’ to sign in on skype, which she rarely does, and Hannah ‘happens’ to also sign in, which she rarely does, and they started chatting. Zoe told her my end of the story, how God said $500, and I asked, and Hannah gave.

When Hannah heard this, she freaked out, and said that was exactly what she needed to hear! She was certain that God said for her to give $500, but her parents weren’t so keen, and she was doubting herself, and if she can hear God’s voice.  But this was the exact confirmation that she needed to hear!
I just feel a bit odd that I don’t need to donate… :p 

Thanks God for providing...

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

God @ Swing Dance!

Aug 21, 2011 - Late post.

Swing Dancing is where I'm focusing on sharing God's love lately. My family @ Kansas City really encouraged me to pursue that. So I'm sharing the love, and stuff I've learned with the people at Swing! :) I like it. It really shows God cares about me cause He knows I love dancing, and He's providing Swing Dance to be a way for me to start a simple church. 

'Suburban Swing', every Sunday night!

All us girls having a blast.

I tell my dance partners what I did this summer (basically said that I learned God's love, and how to have it come into me and in my life more) hehe luuved the reactions, and convos that followed :D. Most of them didn't really understand what I meant at first, and people thought it was a trip where I went and helped poor people. But NOPE we did some of that, but it was mostly a “Summer of Love”, as I described on a previous blog post.

I prayed for a dude that was quite depressed, and had amnesia. I spoke into his life, blessed him, and he received it. 

In Swing, we rotate dance partners during the lesson, and when I got to this one dude I asked him how he was doing, and he replied, “Lonely”, and he remained quite downcast throughout the practice.

Later, I had to something from my purse, and the same guy happened to be sitting right in front of it, so I thought,  
ok, God, I think this is a sign. I'm going to talk to him ok? And God said it was okay so I talked with him. I asked him how it was going, and he said, 
“Not good, it's pretty bad right now, I have amnesia.”

He's got 30 min short term memory, and some long term memory, and he told me some horrible things that he's witnessed, and crappy stuff he's done. Something about an accident, someone getting shot, him getting shot, and sleeping with a guy. 

I somehow knew exactly what to say the whole time, and how to deal with all of this! Thank you God! And I finally said 
“Y'know, I don't know about all the other stuff, but what I do know is this: God really does love you.” And I looked at him right in the eyes and he looked back, and said that God can't love him, and if God loved him, then why would he let all that crap happen to him? I was slightly stumped for a sec, but then remembered God's heart for this dude, and said, 
“That doesn't change that He still loves you.” then he said,
“God doesn't exist”, and I said, 
"Well dude, I know for a fact that He does, and I wouldn't even be here right now if it wasn't for God” and asked him if I could pray for him. He said yes, and I asked if I could put my hand on his shoulder, he agreed, and I prayed for him. Right there by a floor full of people Dancing.

I prayed that his amnesia would be gone, that he'd know God's love for him, blessed him, and prayed for protection and a whole bunch of other stuff.

Met up with a man named Florence (but pronounced 'flu – RGOH'), a French man, that I knew before KC, and met his new girlfriend. I had already talked about God and such things with Florence, he doesn't believe in God, but is searching it out (that 's what he said). I told him that on my trip, I learned more about God's love in my 'heart', than in my head.

And of course... God really BLESSED me with a fun evening full of learning new and fun dance moves, and good, healthy, human interaction! :D